HELLO WORLD!

Welcome to my blog space. I want to start off by saying that I am not a professional writer. As a matter of fact, I am horrible at writing essays. I am a great texter though! It will be an easy read, may be long, but easy. My vocabulary is fairly basic. Do not worry, no need to go look up words in the Thesaurus for this type of writing.

I hope these blog’s can be part of my healing process and journey to becoming a better person. Ok, so where do I start? It is a complicated process as I started this blog because of the current break up I just went through. I been through several break-ups, including two divorces in my life. This break-up was tough! I thought it would be the easiest, but by far it has been the hardest. Out of respect of my ex, I will use a different name. For the purposes of this blog, her name will be Jessica.

Jessica and I met at a bar on Valentine Day weekend 2019 overseas in Belgium. Typical place where parents always tell us not to meet your future wife. In Jessica’s case she is “wifey” material, 100%. Our first encounter was me asking her to dance, and like many other women in my life, she said no. I pursued her the rest of the night, with the same response. No bueno! The following weekend, at the same bar, Jessica was standing behind me as I was in line waiting to get a drink. This time she approached me, and I acted as if I did not remember her. Of course, I remembered her. She was gorgeous. She is 5’1, dirty blondish hair, big blueish grey eyes, weighs about 110lbs, well spoken, independent, super witty, extremely smart (her IQ is a 136!), well dressed, and a super bubbly personality. Wow, she was perfect. The following morning, I stalked her on facebook, sent her a message and that is how our journey started. I forgot to mention, the first time I saw her at the bar, was the weekend my ex-wife and I signed our legal separation agreement.

I did not just stalk Jessica on Facebook, I would go to her job and act interested in volunteering for youth sports. I filled out a very extensive application for a background check just to stay longer in the office and talk to her. Asking questions, like why do I need to this, if I am military? I just wanted to keep our conversations going and lose each other in time. Again, I was completely googly eyed over her! We became a couple shortly after that. She was my “rebound” girl, so we came up with a plan to where we were going to be in a semi-open relationship. Weird, right? What does it even mean? It meant, I can mess around, as long as I was completely honest with her. She can do the same, but she just never did. I did take advantage of that agreement. I thought, wow this is great! Which man would not want to be in my shoes? This went on for a year and a half. I messed around with a few women; she knew of every single one. There was a total of three. My dumbass always admitted to two, because one of the three women I could not get it up. Embarrassing right? Oh, believe me she told at least one of her friends. Fast forward to June of 2020, Jessica moved to the states, while I still remained in Belgium. After she left, I met another woman, outside of the three stated above and had a relationship with an “end date,” because she knew I was with Jessica and moving to the states.

November of 2020, I moved to the states and lived three hours away from Jesicca. I would stay one week at my buddies and one week at her place. We eventually bought a house together May of 2021. Sounds crazy, right? Many may say why buy a house with your “girlfriend?” She had lost some money purchasing a house she wanted, so I used my VA loan and bought a house, but put it under both our names, because she agreed to make the mortgage payments while I deployed to Kuwait and Jordan in June of 2021. I was deployed until June of 2022.

During that one-year deployment, my dumbass was still talking to the girl in Belgium who I had a relationship with an “end date.” Not so much of an end date, huh? Jessica found out via Facebook about her and contacted her and found out the whole truth. Jessica and I stayed together. She forgave me, I mean I knew the exact words to say, plus I never thought Jessica will break up with me. She truly loved me! I return from my deployment June of 2022 and move into our house. This time, we were splitting the mortgage. As I returned, my bosses told me in June that I was going to be transferred to another state (Kentucky) in with a report date of November 2022. August of 2022, Jessica moved for me to Kentucky (9 hr drive), she decided to go in August vs November, because she had to enroll her kids in school. As you can imagine, the military told me that I was no longer going to this other state. I then decided to submit for retirement with an effective date of 1 April 2024, a whole year and a half later. It is the way the military retirement system works (kind of).

For the next year and a half (August 2022 – December 2023), we were once AGAIN in a long-distance relationship. Fast forward to December 2023, Jessica and I decided to break up. Why? Take a wild guess? You guessed it, October 2023, I slipped and fell into another girl’s vagina! I say this sarcastically, but it is because I am an idiot! Happened only one time, but that one time was the last straw. Of course, throughout our entire relationship, I always flirted with other women via text messages.

If you have even gotten this far, you are probably telling yourself it was a disaster to begin with. As I am typing this, I realize we spent more time in a long-distance relationship than we were together. Only pockets in time we were within a five-mile radius or in the same house. Oh yes, I forgot to mention, we purchased two more properties in Kentucky. An investment property and the current property she lives in now.

With this said, has anyone been in a similar situation? What are some of your thoughts? Should we have broken up, if so when? Do you believe that long distance relationship work? We are literally on our last stretch before I was to move for good to Kentucky, should I fight for her?

I will try to write a daily blog. Tomorrow I would like to write about our last vacation, when she saw the text, and how she told me she knew I cheated on her. Our last December together where we took family pictures under the Christmas tree. How she moved on and found someone to date exclusively.